I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
