What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
