Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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