HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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