i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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