I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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