Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.

Fav 2 1303 3338
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(281): View more from Texas

On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

Fav 48 1790 6337
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(815): View more from Illinois

He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.

Fav 5 821 2007
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(404): View more from Georgia

I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

Fav 4 1425 1619
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(708): View more from Illinois

Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

Fav 9 807 1989
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"

Fav 3 1471 946
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(734): View more from Michigan

he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.

Fav 6 1444 808
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(206): View more from Washington

My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.

Fav 2 400 342
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(917): View more from New York City

He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"

Fav 0 17 40
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