Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
