marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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