She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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