He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I could fuck to npr.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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