Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
