And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
