you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
