Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
