A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So squirting runs in the family.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
