Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
