We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
