I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
