OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Even my vagina gasped.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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