We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
