The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize