Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
