after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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