ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
