I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
