I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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