My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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