i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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