i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
