her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
