dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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