i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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