Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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