I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
