no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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