Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just cropdusted the office
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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