It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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