Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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