Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
