Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she smelled like a LAN party
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
