Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
