so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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