two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
