The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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