Where is the hickey?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I look better un-naked...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
