I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
