summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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