I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
