i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
