This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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