Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
