So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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