my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize