one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
