I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
