whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
