At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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