no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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