Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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