I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
