I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
