now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The adults are the big ones right?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
