I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
