when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
