I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
