speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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